…but 2010 will be the best year of all time! OF ALL TIME!!

Yes, Kanye, your jackassery made for a pretty awesome internet meme. Here’s some of the best things about 2009. Oh yeah, and we put everything 20% off at Fractalspin, but only for the next 3 days. Happy New Year!

6. Kanye will let you finish, but…

Lulz were had quite a bit this year, and countless photoshops made of Kanye upstaging Taylor Swift at the Video Music Awards. Here’s some of our favorites, and a larger archive.

5. Terrence
Parker’s “Tribute to Michael Jackson”

While we are sorry to have lost MJ this year, we love DJ Terrence Parker, aka TP’s, funky, soulful, housey tribute.
http://terrenceparker.podomatic.com/entry/2009-06-29T12_35_16-07_00

4. Christian Bale takes David to the Dentist

Oh boy–two internet memes in one! We LOLd at this brilliant mashup of “David after Dentist” and “Christian Bale Flips Out“
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70r-Ca8wcVg

3. Windows 7

Finally, a Vista replacement that shows up OSX. Yay! http://reviews.cnet.com/windows/microsoft-windows-7-professional/4505-3672_7-33704140.html

2. Motorola Droid

The potentially iPhone-killer phone from Verizon stole the G1′s thunder and made for Motorola’s most attractive and intriguing piece of technology yet. http://www.engadget.com/2009/10/30/motorola-droid-review/

1. Live 8 / APC40

Alright, we are total electronic music nerds over here so when Ableton Live 8 was released and Max / MSP was integrated, we were giddy. Then they released a controller that spoke to our inner fanboy. So much so that it spawned its own hilarious photoshop thread in the Ableton forums. Here are some of our favorite shops: http://lizrevision.com/gallery?album=1&gallery=2

LOLkid. Also: Lawlkid. LOLkids are like Scene Kids except add 100 IQ points and subtract emo. (LOLkids=($humanIQ+100)-$emoFactor;).

LOLkids heart the intertronz and nerdery and are all about zar lawlz.

1. Is ok to LOL at yrself. In other words, don’t take yourself too seriously. This involves having a formidable degree of self confidence and not taking things personally. However, don’t overdo it and proclaim how awesome you are at every opportunity (like tweeting about your awesomeness) since others will get tired of you quickly.

I mean, look at this guy on 4chan. He rules. He actually put a shoe on his head. And everyone LOLd. This is the way to roll. [Frak I can't find the jpg.] Nvrmd.

2. Noe flaemz. “No flames.” Reference #1: LOLkids don’t take things personally, so they don’t find the need to start or partake in flame wars.

4. Moar internets. Having multiple accounts on various social networking platforms is awesome. It’s even better when APIs are introduced that allow streamlined account linkage or similar, like what Facebook and the Google and Digg toolbars have done (yay!). Also, the more beta a site is, the better, since it adds to your credibility (leetness). The more obscure and awesome the online app or platform is the better (Google apps that are in beta don’t count though, since even Gmail is still in beta. Feh). Facebook, Twitter, Youtube and Buzznet kinda rule, but pr0n (pornography sites) are weak–LOLkids are too smart to have to resort to that to get attention. Sides, if you’re still in the teens it’s prolly illegal NEways.

5. Electronic music is ze way 2 plai. Let’s think about this for a minute. If you were a nerdy superstar do you think you would be wooh-ing at some emo folk dude sitting on a chair crying on his *analog* guitar? The answer–so you won’t get sidetracked by philosophic inquiry–is a resounding “NO.” LOLkids need their heads blown wide open by weirdo sounds that no frakking guitar or drum kit could ever dream of. Aphex Twin, Autechre and Squarepusher are pretty much the holy trinity of nerdtronica. Venetian Snares pulls a close fourth but he’s all aggro and weird and that’s kinda buzzkill sometimes. LOLkids like LOLs and happy so basically anything that sounds like a spaceship made it with a pretty melody (ala Close Encounters) will prolly fly. Off the top of my head, Lusine, Matthew Dear, Apparat, Bola and Kettel are main players. More transitional (as in accessible) peeps are The Presets, Pnau, Franz Ferdinand, Junior Boys and Orchestra of Bubbles. And if you want goofy and pretty go check out my stuff as Quantazelle (shameless plug for the lulz).

6. Go go gadget-awesome. Gadgets rule. But they have to be cutting-edge gadgets that add to your credibility in that they serve a wide variety of useful functions and often require a certain degree of persistence and knowledge to make them even more useful. Any Linux distro (Ubuntu / Fedora / Debian), Android G1 / rooted cellphone or OLPC / Kbuntu running on a Speak-N-Spell automatically adds cred. Off the shelf gadgets with a minimal degree of hackitude and a high degree of hype are lame (I virtually call you out, iPhone. Um, no copy-and-paste? WTF).

7. You don’t pay for shizznattle. You herd me. Why drop $25 bux a year on Flickr when you can just upload photos to a server (which better be your own PC on a T1 lol) and run Gallery2. Why pay for some bloated, wanked out email list service when there’s PHPList? I hope you’re starting to get the picture. Why dish out $20+ for a movie at the theater when there’s–ok you should get it by now.

Also, yes, I said PC. PS: This thing rules: Bumptop

8. A srsly sweet moniker lawl. You are going to need an account login name that rules as well. Mine is “Quantazelle” which you can’t find in the dictionary but still sounds like a superhero. It’s also my music production name (and making music or creating things in any other media adds leetpoints (credibility)). I wrote about choosing a music project name here with some links to online name generators that might be useful: Getting Publicity: Start With a Good Name for Your Project. Non-dictionary names are way better since a Google search will automatically put you at #1. Get to it, son.

9. Speak ruleage. LOLkid slang reflects one’s perpetual and contemporary internet presence. It borrows heavily from leetspeak (adding -age or -x0r to a noun or verb in place of the adjective form), with references to LOLcat grammar and forumslang (4chan.com / somethingaweful.com). For instance, “sauce”= source, “lawl”=laugh out loud, vocalizing common internet acronyms (“dubya tee eff?” for WTF), etc), and directly utilizing programming syntax ($omgWtf=func(self==”over_this_thread”);). The more clever you are with conveying your message to other humans in a programming language, the more leet points, frill (or “for real” as teh normalz sez). Also, replacing “-y” with “eh” implies a certain softhearted acceptance, as in “This kitteh is just too snuggles!”

10. Use profanity wisely If your profanity can reference sci-fi in any sort, we are in business. For example, vocalizing “frack, Frack, FRACK” when one has accidentally transformed one’s grilled cheese sandwich to a charcoal briquette when one was typing an involved blog post instead of watching the stove is perfectly acceptable. And if it directly relates to realtime IRL, more pwnage to you (and yes, I really did just briquette my grilled cheese and I’m not lovin’ it. Reboot foodage brb.).

11. Spell smartz. Yeh, leet spelling zar kinda ness. So this means substituing “-oa-” for “-o- (long o, ie “poast” instead of post), “eh” instead of “-y”, abbreviating words to their necessary and essential characteristics (ie: “ness,” && “sench” for necessary and essential), using metonomy frequently (“I has to puter 4 wrkz bbiab”), and inventing completely new words that get their meaning from context. One’s cred gets points when one can get other humans to use said neologisms (ie: “gURLs / guise”).A word of warning–don’t overdo it or you’ll end up alienating people (altho aliens kinda rulex0r). Use discretion.

12. Newb werds == new_gangtaAs in“Yea boi, cruisin’ tha tronz.” Using “noob words” ironically–as in referring to the internet as a “series of tubes” “asking Google,” or referring to the protocol of the series of standards within which the Internet is made possible as “the internets,” is kinda leet if played correctly. Again, it is better used for emphasis than as a dialect in itself. Be very careful with this, and its associated irony or you will be called out on the tubes forthright.

13. Adding .TLDs for emphasis or clarification.Adding .com, .net or .org to a statement can either emphasize the statement’s importance, clarify the context, or add lulz. For instance, “inacarwithtoomanyhumans.net,” “usuallyimtheonethatinitiatesthebreakup.org,” and “collectioncompanieswontstopcallingme.com.” See “Liz Revision” for that little gem (et c’est moi, another spam, sorry).

14. All up in the tronz You’ve got to stay ahead of all the memes currently in play. Here’s a lil cheat-sheet for you: Internet Memes Timeline. So, in other words, a replay of Star Wars Kid in this day and age will get you nothing but ignores and rolls-eyes and banz. The best places to stay ahead of the meme-curve are somethingaweful.com and 4chan.net. And other things that I am too leet to disclose to newbs. ::lawl::

15. Pirate Talk Prolly cause “Talk Like a Pirate Day” gained momentum on the internets, and since people who spend a lot of time on the tronz are savvy about acquiring things without paying for them, it is necessary for one to be fluent in pirate should the need arise (or just in general). Yarr, I be one-to-one seeding tharse blimey torrents, matey!

16. Random Foreign Words. Using foreign words sparingly emphasizes one’s global perceptiveness that has been cultivated through international forums (usu. revolving around a shared interest) and multicultural acceptance of others via chat programs. For instance “Cheers” instead of “Thanks” or “flat” instead of “apartment” reinforce this country-independent platform astuteness.

17. Cute pets. The whole LOLcats thing was enabled by pet-lovers (and involve mostleh cats). I mean, if you work at home without roommates there is a human need to connect w/ something that hearts you and doesn’t care about your post-count or forum rank. So please feel free to post pix of yr animals being silleh, and add captions to increase LOLfactor pls lol thx.

18. Accessorize yerself, scallywag! We has to pimps us with IRL (in real life) stuffs ftw (for the win). Best places frill == http://www.fractalspin.com (geek boutique with awesome nerdy for personal adornment), http://www.shanalogic.com (kewlz, more of ze same), http://www.threadless.com (web 2.0+tshirt design==win). But ThinkGeek is for newbs tho lol. LOL. You herd me.

19. Steer clear of Scene, by all means. I mean pls. That “scene” is lametronica and !clue (clueless). It’s like “Let’s be Emo but pretend we’re anime so we don’t get made fun of.” My friend called it “we’re old enough to get into a bar but lame enough that no one there cares.” Haha–whatever. It’s so played. FYI: LOLkids are high-IQ, rabidly individualistic, doers and hackers, and so over everything that’s overplayed and yeah.

20. You must win at 4chan. And by win, I mean the game, which you just lost.

21. Why not start up your own -chan? That’s leet.

22. Stay above it all and remember the lulz to be had with the game. Don’t take it seriously or personally, and remember that if you’ve gotten this far you’re awesome. Revel in it and don’t be afraid to be who you are. I hope you’re getting some shopping done too.

Here’s a pair of earrings + gift card combo that I made with some leftover Swarovski crystal rhinestones I had.

Here’s a cute way to send a friend a handwritten note and a new pair of crystal earrings! This note card features a snowflake-decorated ribbon and label on the front attached with a blue brad. The ribbon conceals one pair of Swarovski crystal post earrings and the inside has a paper insert for note-writing. Each comes in a zip poly bag with a metallic silver envelope.

$12 on Etsy.

Here’s a list of a bunch of stuff I’ve been digitally collecting and hoping for IRL versions for a while: Liz McLean Knight’s Wishlist. Some highlights:

Samba de Amigo for Dreamcast

Back in the day, way before Dance Dance Revolution, Guitar Hero and Rock Band, there was a rhythm game that had you getting down to Latin grooves and shaking your maracas. That game was Samba de Amigo. Grab yourself a Dreamcast on Ebay, score the special maraca controllers, invite some peeps over and you’ll have a party that’s worth blogging about in the days to come, not to mention some hilarious photo opps.

Number Scarf

Ah, the warm yet fashionable addition of intersected integers makes an outfit complete. This cool little company (literally Little Factory) based out of Hong Kong churns out a typographical phantasmagoria of laser-cut accessories (you can get uppercase or lowercase letters instead of numbers if you prefer to roll ASCII). Downside is that you have to wait a week after ordering for your stuff to ship, which is assumably so that all the little laser gnomes have time to cut out your design from a sheet of ultrasuade.

Event Sponsorship

Bigger events obviously require more money but that doesn’t necessarily have to come from ticket sales alone. If you’ve got a targeted demographic within your audience you’ve got an asset to other businesses who would love to ride along on your coattails to awesomeness. This book delves into doing all the things that appeal to the things that corporate wants to see. Good to add to the reference shelf.

Triumph of the Nerds

Although the ending is a bit dated on this 1996 talking heads documentary (re: future potential of the Internet), it seems to be an insightful yet playful documentary on the start of the PC revolution. It features interviews with Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Steve Wozniak and interesting bits of trivia along with highlighting the accidental nature of the revolution (it’s based on the book Accidental Empires). If you prefer a more dramatized version, go with Pirates of Silicon Valley (which I own. thanks, Beth!)

1,000 Graphic Elements: Details for Distinctive Designs

When I’m in product design or promo / marketing mode and need to come up with something physical that’s extra special this would be the go-to book for me. It’s a design inspiration book that focuses on the small, yet exciting details of a piece. In the 1,000 series, this book focuses on embellishments available to graphic designers across all kinds of projects, from books to brochures, invitations to menus, CDs to annual reports. And it’s organized by type; if you are trying to come up with an unusual binding, turn to the “bindings” section to see some ideas. I own the 1,000 Greetings book and it’s gorgeous so I can drool over this one in anticipation.

I am not a paper cup

Sure does look like one, though? Well it’s actually a ceramic cup with a heat-resistant silicone lid that you can use over and over again, unlike the actual version that’s made out of paper and just adds more trash to the planet. Anyone who does anything thought-intensive and in front of a computer realizes the value of caffeine to the process. A hilarious mobile coffee delivery system will make the perfect gift.

What the Bleep!? – Down the Rabbit Hole (QUANTUM Three-Disc Special Edition)

If you’re the armchair physicist sort who flips out over the metaphysical ramifications of Schrodinger’s cat and yet still likes to be entertained then you’ve got to snag this highly produced documentary. Yeah it’s got the sensory-challenged Marlee Matlin as its dramatized protagonist (which can make for some giggle-stifling moments, for the sake of brutal honesty) but it’s likely a choice based on some higher motifs. And when you can toss discussion about motifs into a documentary that’s downright special (and not as in -education) and posits theories that uses the assumptions behind quantum physics as its springboard it’s nerdy yet fun. And how often does that intersection happen?

Techno Fashion

OK this is a blind rec here–the title and cover did it for me. As long as there is plenty of glossy aspirational photography count me in.

Last Night a DJ Saved My Life: The History of the Disc Jockey

If you DJ or–in some fashion–support those who do, this book will be a great way to contextualize the profession. This book provides a history of the DJ and the music forms that DJs have profligated since the advent of vinyl as a medium of auditory stimulation and satisfaction. The history that this book attempts to recount isn’t an end-all-to-be-all, but it covers enough ground to satisfy even the most discriminating electronic music lover like yours truly.

$10,000

Really, who couldn’t find a use for ten grand?

Here’s my list of places I’d recommend to go shopping in Chicago, and I’m a 29-year-old electronic musician / DJ / nerd / biz-geek with no kids who visits clubs and bars on a regular basis. I’ve left off a few places that I occasionally stop into but wouldn’t recommend wholeheartedly (Urban Outfitters & Crossroads on Milwaukee, and The Alley at Belmont & Halsted, for instance. While I can sometimes find an interesting pair of shoes at The Alley, for the most part it caters to suburban teens [ala Hot Topic] and Fetish-ists / Goths / Punks and Rockabillies. *yawn*) Here are some photos of me in clothes I’ve bought from the following places: [1] [2] [3] [4]

Wicker Park: Milwaukee Ave.

G-Star Raw (Women / Men)
1525 N. Milwaukee Ave.
“The New Diesel” and my new favorite store (when I can afford it), it has crazy streetwear that will definitely get you noticed. The jeans are pretty expensive but just OK–they don’t have the distinctiveness of their other pieces.
BRANDS: G-Star Raw only

Una Mae’s Freak Boutique (Women / Men)
1422 N. Milwaukee Ave.
“Eccentric” is a good word for this place. There’s quite a bit of vintage and / or “reconstituted” vintage, there are a great deal of local designers represented, but there are also new pieces in the mix. There were a lot knitted goods when I was there, and many of their pieces seem to have ta handmade quality about them.
BRANDS: Gentle Fawn, Syrup, Dollhouse, Epoch, Steady, Dragonfly, Autoura, Dying Orchid, Mary Larkin

Another Level (Women / Men)
1420 N Milwaukee
Back in the early-to-mid 90s this was a place on the South side where you would get tickets for raves, and while you were there, pick up phat pants, t-shirts and vinyl. They’ve since expanded to a number of locations out in the suburbs, but the music culture overlap is still there–albeit at this point it’s of the shiny-shirted mainstream, likely-lame variety. Still, the clothes are pretty trendy and most of them are definitely for wearing out to clubs.
BRANDS: Ben Sherman, Skinny Minnie, Headline, Glamhead, Monarchy, 1921, Affliction, Edward Dada, Pathway, Bleeding Star, Chii, Nexo, Aqua VI, Sinful, Drifter, One Life

I’m never shopping at Another Level again. Check out the review I wrote on Yelp.

Belmont Army (Women / Men)
1318 N Milwaukee Ave.
Downstairs you’ll find real army surplus, but upstairs is where it’s at. Everything is trendy, unique, and pricey, but it has one of the most unique clothing collections in the city
BRANDS: Kitchen Orange, Spiewalk, Ben Sherman, Triple 5 Soul, Onitsuka Tiger, Fornaria, Tsubo, Saucony, Diesel, Converse, Paul Frank, Miss Sixty

Futurgarb (Women / Men)
1359 N. Milwaukee Ave.
This tiny boutique has some funky excellently urban-trendy clothes, and their clearance rack has some real finds. Sunglasses at around 15-20 bucks are of-the moment.
BRANDS: Groggy, Caffeine, 7 Diamonds, e-division, Industry, Groggy, Ezekiel, Split, Stussy, Gentle Fawn, Billabong, Tank Farm, Zinc, Love Nico, Chrome Industries, Dollhouse, Drifter, Buffalo, RZST

Wicker Park: North Ave

City Soles (Women / Men)
1566 N Damen Ave
City Soles sells trendier, more casual and affordable styles while it’s roommate, Niche sells seriously upscale yet funky footware
BRANDS: Fornarina, Puma, Tsubo, Cydwoq, Yin, Jeffery Campbell, Ted Baker, Kenneth Cole

Untitled (Women / Men)
1941 W North Ave
Another former rave-era outfitter, this one has gone the way of trendy and pricey, but there are still cool pieces about. These days it reminds me of walking around in East Village in New York. The men’s section is definitely bigger, but there are more women’s shoes. Saturdays they bring in a DJ to spin while you shop..
BRANDS: Triple 5 Soul, Diesel, Fornarina, Gravis, Nooka, 555 DSL, Fresh Jive, J. Lindeberg, Adidas, Paul Frank, Penguin, Puma, Ben Sherman, Modern Amusement, Fred Perry, True Religion, Gsus

TK Men (Men)
1909 W. North Ave
They have free beer on tap in the back of this super trendy men’s boutique. It’s all incredibly pricey, but outstandingly original. You’ll see lots of trendy suits and blazers in the front and as you move back you’ll see more of the casual collection.
BRANDS: 9 Lives, Blood Sweat & Tears, Bacco Bucci, Cadillac Hammer, Buddhist Punk, Cashlords, Edward Dada, J. Lindeberg, King Baby, Loser, Love Nico, Mezlan, Super Real, Uppercut

Akira Shoes (Women)
1849 W North Avenue
Fabulously trendy yet affordable, when you find a shoe you love in your size, buy it right away or you’ll be out of luck when the next person in your size snags the same pair. Akira also has its own line, which is quite cheap although not very sturdy.
BRANDS: BCBG, Diesel, Oh-Deer, Jessica Simpson, Chinese Laundry, Nicole, Puma

Akira Men (Men)
1922 W North Ave.
Many excellent t-shirts can be found here, the men’s version of Akira for Women.
BRANDS: Heavy Rotation, Puma, English Laundry, Le Tigre, Hummel, Ben Sherman,
Black Hearts Brigade, Blend, Blue Law, Brooklyn Industries, Brown Sound, Buffalo, Caffeine,
Capital Mercury Apparel, Dekker, Division E, Dragonfly, Drifter, Hard 8, Hendrix, Joseph Alexander, Junkfood, Live Mechanics, Modextil, Hendrix, Monarchy, New Leaf, Parasuco, Pathway, Paul Frank, Polo, Print House Inc., Roar, RVCA, Spray Graphics

Akira (Women)
1837 W North Ave
Incredibly trendy with pieces at all price levels, although the super cheap ones will probably only last as long as they are in style. They also have a loyalty card program to encourage you to feed your addiction.
BRANDS: Kitchen Orange, Gentle Fawn, Paul Frank, Akira, 213 Industry, 949, B-B-Dakota, BCBG Girls, Ben Sherman, Burn N Violet, Dolce Vita, Free People, Gentle Fawn, Hazel, Jedidah Clothing, Junkfood, Kenzie, Le Tigre, Made U Look, Monarchy, Spray Graphics,

Bucktown: Damen Ave

p.45 (Women)
1643 North Damen Avenue
Stocking up and coming local designers, this small boutique has clothes you likely won’t find any where else in the city.
BRANDS: Development, Phillip Lim, Beaumenay Joannet, Bing Bang, Chip&Pepper

HIM / HER (Women / Men) [CLOSING as of 5/29/2007]
1653 N Damen Ave
A teeny litle boutique that’s stylish and has free beer and Playboys for perusal.
BRANDS: J. Lindeberg, Diesel, Raw-7, Rock & Republic, Ed Hardy, 7 Diamonds, Serfontaine, English Laundry

Ukrainian Village / West Division St

Casa de Soul (Women | Men)
This teeny shop has modern soul as its inspiration, along with funky accessories, purses, jewelry, and clothing. There’s often a mildly rasta theme that’s often seen on accessories or in colors choices.
BRANDS: DDP, Shmack, Rockers Worldwide, Caffeine, Petro Jeans, LTB jeans, Klozhorse, Hussy Jr, Vintage red, Blu Law, Rzst, Dubwise, Ubiquity, Soul Rebel, Sudaca, English Laundry, The People Have Spoken, Drifter, Sworn Virgins, Soca, Sweet and Toxic, Anna Fong, Ori by Cyndi Chan, Heroine chic, Hussy Jr, BB Dakota, Double Zero, Miss Me, Catch A Fire (By Cedalla Marley), Petro Jeans, LTb Jeans (By Little Big), Bartak Denim, Split

Steelo (Women) [CLOSED]
1850 West Division Street
BRANDS: Pink Studio, Pajar, Baci, Detny, Poetic License, Mizmooz, On Your Feet

Penelope’s
BRANDS: APC, April/May, Anzevino & Florence, Built by Wendy, Charlotte Ronson, Spiewalk, We Clothing, Wrangler 47, Xgla

Espace
1205 N Milwaukee Ave
I have yet to browse the racks here but it looks cool.

Thr3ee
1632 W Division St
Pick a t-shirt or a hoodie, then flip through one of the design books to apply your decoration of choice.

Koi8 [CLOSED] 1927 W. Chicago Ave
Lots of graphic-designer tshirts–very funky and trendy and not too spendy.

Lakeview: Belmont and Halsted

Ragstock (Women / Men)
812 W Belmont Ave
This small midwestern chain has piles and piles of affordable clothes, hand-picked vintage & thrift, and all kinds of costumes and accessories. There is a smaller store over on Milwaukee i Wicker Park but this one is far superior.
BRANDS: various

Pink Frog (Women)
905 W Belmont Ave
This is a great little spot for cheap sexy heels & boots as well as funky casual shoes. Right now since flats are in they have two racks devoted to all sorts of variations on the theme, from skull-n-bones printed modified Chuck Taylor-esque snearker/flats to more traditional choices you could wear to work.
BRANDS: Rocket Dog, Soda, Chinese Laundry

DSW (Women / Men)
3131 N Clark Street
If you didn’t find anything at Pink Frog, head around the corner to this chain featuring last season’s shoes (thousands of them!) at a steep discount.